Sunday, July 10, 2022

Getting to Know YOU!

 Welcome to "The Marriage Manual."  This is a publication of the Harris Ministries International daily inspirational blog, designed specifically for marriage and/or engaged couples. It's purpose is to encourage and strengthen your faith on the subject of marriage. God's will is for you to experience and enjoy His best in the arena of marriage relationships. We want you to grow and know the love of God in a more deeper and intimate way... today and everyday!

Today's Blog: Getting to Know YOU!

Knowing someone takes a life time because people change. This includes you and your spouse, yes, the person you married or will marry will change. Accept this fact buts you on the right track for harmonious matrimony.

Matrimony defined - the state of being married. 

Marriage is a continuum, not a quick episode or chapter in the entirety in the book of one's life.  Learning and getting to know your spouse in every stage and season of their life should be a delightful experience, not a frightful event. Experiencing growth and maturing moments with someone helps to cultivate trust and build honor and respect. Spouses should nurturing each other, not deplete or stagnant one another. 

The scripture, 1 Corinthians 13: 7 tells us,  Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

This is a powerful example of sustaining and maintaining our marriage covenant through change. Our conquest is to stay consistent in love, as we grow and get to know our spouse in every season of their life.

Sister Cathy~

www.harrisministriesint.com


Saturday, July 9, 2022

Making Love


Welcome to "The Marriage Manual."  This blog is a Harris Ministries International daily inspirational blog designed specifically for marriage and/or engaged couples. It's purpose is to encourage and strengthen your faith on the subject of marriage. God's will is for you to experience and enjoy His best in the arena of marriage relationships. We want you to grow and know the love of God in a more deeper and intimate way... today and everyday!

Today's Blog: Making Love

Love is a beautiful thing. It is one of the essential elements that makes life worth living. Love can be experienced in all realms of life; spirit, soul and body. Love is tangible and can be experienced at any age or stage of life. Love can be given and received but never hidden or difficult to perceive. Love is always love. It never changes or takes on another form or nature. Whenever you and I express and/or experience love it will always without fail be the same. However, love can grow; not in its composition but in relation to the amount you allow to be expressed or received in your life.

Marriage is one of the greatest opportunities we have as Christians to grow in the love of God. Therefore, I consider making love the bedrock for its success. Making love must be a vital part of your marriage relationship if you expect your marriage to be one governed by peace. Love making is something that a husband and wife partake in together creating a bond that is not easily broken. It is difficult if not nearly impossible for any enemy intruder, no matter how crafty or clever, to breach a union that has been strengthen by love. The intimacy that love creates in a heart that is yielded to it builds a barrier against confusion, strife and hurtful allegations. It locks the door and protects the key to the secrecy of its mates weaknesses and human frailties. It provides an atmosphere and covering for nurturing and proper growth and development. It speaks only the truth and shields with faith.

Making love in your marriage relationship is the act of possessing, cultivating and caring for your God given promise land. God expects hands on participation. There is no joy or reward in sitting on the side-lines watching the other person be in motion.

When I speak of the term "making love" I am referring to a man and a women who has been joined together in holy matrimony building a relationship found on the God-kind of love.

The word make means to build or construct. The bible tells us, "Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep." Psalm 127:1-2

Today is a good day to purpose in your heart to only use products manufactured by God to build your marriage upon. God is the manufacturer of forgiveness, love, joy, peace, meekness, patience, kindness, words of life and encouragement, etc.

Building a relationship founded upon love (God's love) will always pay great dividends and produce lasting success.

Pray/confess this with me:

Heavenly Father, I thank you for your unconditional love for me and my spouse. I believe that your love in our hearts will never fail. Therefore the process of making love daily in our relationship will provide a  foundation that can not be shaken or breached by the enemy. I am confident that the truths in your Word are transforming us to be the man and women of love that you created us to be .In Jesus Name, Amen.


Sister Cathy~

www.harrisministriesint.com  

Sunday, September 29, 2019

The BIG 'C"

Let's talk about the Big 'C' - Communication.

Communication defined:

  • the act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else
Periods of silence in a marriage lead to isolation, separation and delayed purpose. One of the highest levels of human interaction is marriage. The scripture says, "Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 18:19). 
Notice God did not just say touching would do it. It takes more than just physical contact and sexual intimacy to have good success in a marriage, you must communicate. Agreement takes communication. You can't agree with somebody unless they effectively communicate with you the thing that they want you to agree with them. Husbands and wives must come into agreement if they are to walk (live) together. The prophet Amos posed the question, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed." Amos 3:3

Agreement defined:

  • the absence of incompatibility between two things; consistency.
  • Synonyms: correspondence, consistency, compatibility, accord.

Could it be that the reason you think you are no longer compatible with your spouse is because you don't communicate any more and/or never learned to communicate with one another from the beginning. You speak words to each other but those words are not effectively communicating what's really on your heart and mind. You have adapted your life-style to just mere talking to be cordial however it is evident the two of you are not walking together because there's no true agreement. When communication ceases things began to decrease and eventually decease.
God's will is that you have a viable, meaningful relationship and union with your spouse however His ways of doing things are not like human ways. If we want good godly success in our marriage we must be willing to do things God's way.

The bible says,
"man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4

God is saying to us here that it takes more than natural resources to sustain life. You and I must be willing to be imitators of God and copy His examples. God was saying if you are going to have a fruitful and/or successful relationship with me there has to be communication. If God doesn't speak (communicate) nothing in our lives could live or flourish. This then holds true for all unions or relationships. 

God's will for your marriage is that you and your spouse would grow in your love and honor for one another by cultivating and nurturing effective communication in all good things.

My prayer for you today is that you and your spouse would begin to practice effect communication, God's way -  today!

Philemon 1:6
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus

We will talk more on this subject in future blogs.

The Marriage Manual  blog is an extension of Harris Ministries International. Visit our other websites: www.harrisministriesint.com, www.detoxifyingthesoul.com, www.fellasofgod.com, www.beyondyourweight.com,  www.nurturingnuggets.net

Monday, May 4, 2015

Be Blessed, Not Stressed!


Psalms 1:1-2 (Amp)
Blessed (happy, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather.  But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night. And he shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper [and come to maturity].
In the above scripture God instructs Christians how to be blessed and this applies to every area of life, yes, even marriage. Despite the things you may have experienced or will experience in your marriage that can sometimes try to lead to frustration, discouragement, distrust, strife, alienation, anger etc., you can decide today to live a Blessed life. The Blessed life does not promise that you will not have temptations or test and trials. However, it does promise that if you live according to the instructions given to us in Psalms 1, that you will prosper in everything you do. 
So that means when you do marriage it will prosper and come to maturity. When things seem like they are not changing with your spouse, don’t get discouraged. Be patient and wait on the Lord. Endeavor not to allow stress and various fears to stealthily creep into your heart and mind causing a major delay in seeing the blessing of God manifest in your life and marriage. Stay on track and don’t be slack in your daily fellowship with God. He will see to it that your life flourishes and remains BLESSED!


Visit our website www.harrisministriesinternational.comwww.detoxifyingthesoul.com www.nuturingnuggets.netwww.themarriagemanual.netwww.beyondyourweight.com, and www.fellasofgod.com

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Wisdom Builds the House, Foolishness Tears it Down!

Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

The word build defined: construct by putting parts or materials together over a period of time. 

Marriages are built, they don't come pre-packaged or pre-assembled. The scripture above says a wise women builds. This reveals to us that it takes the wisdom of God to build a healthy strong marriage. However, it is the foolishness of human beings that destroy it.

Foolish defined: lacking good sense or judgment, unwise.

The wisdom of God establishes are lives in truth and the bible says the truth makes you free (John 8:31-32).

There are principles in the word of God, if followed, will produce tremendous blessings for you and your spouse. It takes wisdom to live with another person in peace and harmony. You have to learn when to give and when to receive, when to speak and when not to speak. You need to allow wisdom to guide your words and discipline your thoughts. God's wisdom will never disappoint or deceive.

The bibles says in James 1:5, if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him.

God does not have a limited supply of wisdom however you still must ask for it, that's just the way God designed the system. If you don't ask you won't have.

Start building your marriage foundation with the appropriate materials that will assure good success.

Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom, and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs 4:7

Visit our website www.harrisministriesinternational.comwww.detoxifyingthesoul.com www.nuturingnuggets.netwww.themarriagemanual.netwww.beyondyourweight.com, and www.fellasofgod.com

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Having the Same Mind


"So by whatever [appeal to you there is in our mutual dwelling in Christ, by whatever] strengthening and consoling and encouraging [our relationship] in Him [affords], by whatever persuasive incentive there is in love, by whatever participation in the [Holy] Spirit [we share], and by whatever depth of affection and compassionate sympathy,  Fill up and complete my joy by living in harmony and being of the same mind and one in purpose, having the same love, being in full accord and of one harmonious mind and intention.  Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves]. Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.  Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:]"
Philippians 2:1-4

I am confident that you and your spouse are growing and maturing every day in your love one toward another. It’s always so wonderful to see people’s lives change for the good, through their increased knowledge and obedience in Christ.
As you and your spouse go forward with the expectation to have the best godly marriage possible, it will be important that you remain in unity and keep the mind of Christ fresh and active in your lives. Staying in unity helps to keep respect and honor for one another. 

Read the scriptures above over and over again, day after day after day. Incorporate these truths into your daily lives and you will soon see supernatural change worth waiting for. Having the same mind does not mean you will always agree on everything (i.e. I like blue dishes but my spouse wanted orange, I wanted hardwood floors and he wants carpet). The same mind means that we think like Christ, we yield to the way God thinks. God’s thoughts are revealed to us in the bible and the Holy Spirit will remind you of these truths. God’s thoughts are always right and pure, never selfish or manipulative. Thinking God’s thoughts toward your mate will always keep peace and harmony in your home and relationship. God Bless!


Visit our other websites: www.detoxifyingthesoul.com, www.nurturingnuggets.net, www.harrisministriesint.com, www.beyondyourweight.com.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The Big “C” Part 2 – Silence is Golden

Have you ever heard the phrase “Silence is Golden?” Well, I believe that can be true depending on the circumstance. The bible says,
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. Isaiah 53:7
When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no threats [of vengeance]; but he trusted [Himself and everything] to Him Who judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:23 (AMP)
There is a scripture in the bible that admonishes us to study...to be quiet, I like that!
And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; 1 Thessalonians 4:11
Study denotes search and practice. This lets us know that it will not just happen on its own, we must train ourselves to know when to speak and when not to speak, and that my friend is called temperance.
Temperance (self-control) is a fruit of the spirit, which is freely given to us by God. However, practice promotes growth and strength of the fruit in our lives. 
In order to effectively and wisely use silence in our marriage we must rely on the Holy Spirit, who knows all things.
Silence can be used for good or for evil. When we are living in the spirit we will use it for good and it will bear fruit that will bless both you and your spouse. However, when we choose to live a life according to the demands of our body and unrenewed mind we can cause great harm to our relationship.
Silence defined:
·       Forbearance from speech or noise: muteness
·       The fact or state of abstaining from speech.
·       Complete absence of sound.
Silence used as a form of revenge and/or retaliation is nothing more than a strong case of immaturity. Refraining from speaking or talking to your spouse as a way of getting back at them for something they did that you felt was inappropriate and/or hurtful is a true sign of ignorance and cultivating childish behavior. This kind of retaliation against your spouse will create a revolving door for the enemy to occupy free room and board in your home and relationship. This kind of silence is generally a learned behavior, a subtle form of aggression that generates a huge amount of stress (inward and outward).

1 Corinthians 13:11 states,
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Children by nature are undeveloped in many areas of their three part being. They must go through a process of growth and development in order to mature and become an adult. At different ages and stages of their young lives it is assumed that they will be nurtured and taught proper life skills. It would not be unusual and/or abnormal for a child to be selfish (self-centered), until he/she is taught to regard other people and their needs.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4
It would not be abnormal for a child to use noise sounds (screaming, yelling, crying etc.) instead of actual words to express frustration and anger. It would not be abnormal for a child to become distracted and inattentive when you are talking to them. However, these things become abnormal behavior when you reach adulthood. The expectation from other people would be that if you are an adult then somebody, somewhere cultivated and nurtured your initial seasons of growth and development and now that you are physically an adult you have put away childish things. Now the reality of this expectation is sometimes grime. Oftentimes we find not only are other people immature in various areas of life but that we ourselves have areas of immaturity. We all have room for growth and development in our lives no matter how old (physically) we are.
We must exercise patience and appropriate grace when interacting with our spouse. Show compassion and be gentle when dealing with inconsistency of behavior. Remember God will not force them to grow up (mature) they must want to change. Change will only began when they begin to earnestly seek God for help, He is the only one qualified to make the necessary changes. 
Remember, shutting your spouse out through “the silent treatment” will only worsen the situation. They need your words that are filled with forgiveness, peace and love to bring reconciliation and healing when your marriage relationship is under attack.
As Christian, we have God’s love in our heart which gives us the advantage against the wiles of the devil. Be alert and stay attentive to the Holy Spirit as He teaches you God’s way of doing things. Stand your guard against the flesh, the world and the devil and don’t let silent frustration kill, steal and destroy in your relationship with your spouse. Speak words of life and see God move in every area of your marriage covenant.
My prayer for you and your spouse today: Father God let your words of peace and love flow from the heart of this couple as they speak to one again today and every day, in Jesus Name. Amen 

The Marriage Manual is an outreach ministry of Harris Ministries International. Visit our websites: www.detoxifyingthesoul.com, www.harrisministriesint.com, www.fellasofgod.com, www.nurturingnuggets.net, and www.beyondyourweight.com. God Bless!